Tag Archives: Vulnerability

Beauty in Pain

She found herself lying on the floor again, a place she knew far too well. Tears gently fell from her cheeks, letting go of the dreams and hopes she had held onto so tightly. Yet, this is where God wanted her. At His feet. Humble. Crying out to Him. Of course, God didn’t want to see her in such pain, but He had a plan for her, with dreams far greater than her own and hopes more beautiful than she could imagine.

Romans 8_18

When disappointment comes, most people fail to see the beauty in the pain, with eyes clouded by tears and hurt, they become bitter and afraid, closing themselves off to the world and to their potential to grow. But pain is a necessary and unavoidable part of life. For it is in those moments of our deepest pain and disappointment, where we find ourselves weak and vulnerable, unable and unwilling to get up, that we realize who we are and what is really important to us.

Highest Self

Pain refines us.

Teaching us who our true friends are. Teaching us humility. Teaching us to not make the same mistakes we have in the past. Teaching us to be more careful with our heart. It shapes us into a better version of ourselves. Inspiring us to overcome our circumstances and learn to provide comfort to those experiencing similar disappointments.


Pain and suffering can define you in one of two ways. It can make you bitter and afraid, closing yourself off to life and opportunities. Or it can make you better; growing you, refining you, and shaping you into a better person. The main difference in which direction your heart chooses to take is hope. Never lose that hope. For there is a light at the end of the tunnel and beauty in the midst of pain.

The moon

So You Got Dumped…

You could tell something was off. He was becoming distant, pulling away, and building up his walls. Something had changed in such a short amount of time, leaving you with a million questions. Why is he pulling away? Did I do something wrong? So you attempt to get closer to figure out the problem, all the while he pushes you farther away until he realizes he can’t put it off anymore. So he tells you.

“I think you are a great person and any guy would be lucky to have you,          but ___________”

“It’s not you; it’s me.”

“I’m just not ready for a relationship, but maybe in a couple years we’ll be together.”

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

All the lines you’ve heard before that don’t give you any hint as to why he decided you weren’t right for each other.

Comfort with a lie

It had all seemed so perfect though. You invested so much of your time and energy into caring for this person and building a dream of what life could be like together, only to have the magic carpet ripped out from under you. You go into shock, hoping that by denying it, it won’t be real. Hoping that tomorrow you’ll wake up and see a text from him saying “Good morning Beautiful” and the nightmare will fade. But you wake up the next day to nothing and reality hits you… hard.

You blame yourself, thinking that if you had done this better or that better he may have stayed. A kaleidoscope of thoughts dance through your head like a movie trailer replaying all the moments you wish you could go back and change. Yet you can’t rewind and even if you could it probably wouldn’t change anything. Sadness and lethargy overwhelm you. Your only request is that you could stay in bed indefinitely in hopes of escaping this painful reality.

missing you

Then the anger comes… You can’t believe you trusted him with your heart. You are angry at him for hurting you, but also at yourself for trusting that he wouldn’t. You feel so stupid for being blinded by his charm. So you run farther, lift heavier, and push yourself harder hoping to get rid of your anger.

Months go by and as the time passes you think of him less and less every day. You won’t deny the pain he caused you, but you realize it’s not the end of the world. That there are greater things to put your time and energy into. So you take up a new hobby and start trying things you never thought you had time for. You discover you are quite the poet, and your ability to rap is off the charts. You begin to truly let go.

Close your eyes

Even so, break-ups are never easy. Yet all the pain and hurt you feel means that they really meant something to you. As Alfred Lord Tennyson wisely said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Love is scary… it’s giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting that they won’t. But love is worth it. Entering any relationship, whether dating or friendship, there is always the possibility of it not working out. Yet, don’t be afraid to take that risk. Next time you’ll just have to be a little more careful with your heart. ❤

Turning the page


You know that moment when you get that idea. You know it’s crazy; it’s nothing but a pipe dream. But then you think to yourself, why not? Why not me?

So you push yourself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally to achieve this dream you have within your heart. You research all the ins and outs to determine your actions steps to get you to where you want to be. You try things you’ve never done before all to prepare for that day.

Today. That day you’ve been planning for months and months. It’s not just a dream anymore; it’s within your grasp and you want it.

Nervous energy courses through your veins, dulled by the spark of confidence radiating from your eyes. That glimmer of hope shining through, small, yet palpable. You’re a dreamer and today your dreams will come true.

You look in the mirror and feel beautiful, ready to take on the world. So you go, you perform, and you give it all you’ve got. Your smile lights the room as you do what you’ve prepared months to do.

And then you wait for the results… did you make the team? Did you get the part? Your beating heart creates the back beat for the song that is your thoughts. The results go up and with bated breath you look. You’re sure you made it, but your number isn’t there. You look again, maybe you just didn’t see it the first time… but you didn’t make it.

After all those months of planning, all that time and energy practicing, and the hope you held in those bright blue eyes.

At first it doesn’t seem real, but as reality sinks in the tears begin to fall. You tried so hard! What went wrong? Did you not have the right “look” or was it your performance that was lacking? Maybe it was just tough competition.

Even so, your world feels as if it’s crashing in on itself. All those who supported you try to be comforting, “At least you tried” or “There’s always next year,” but you just want to be alone…

And that’s where I sit now… alone, yet surrounded by people. Just a face in the crowd. I close my eyes and let the sound of the waves calm me, the sun warm my face, and the wind to dry my tears as I reflect on my past and look to the future.

Despite my failure and disappointment, this journey pushed me out of my comfort zone. I defied the box people put me in, I choreographed my own dance routine, and I met some amazing and beautiful women along the way.

Failure is hard though. I’ve failed so many times, but I get back up and that is where true strength lies. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us.” (Romans 5:3-5a). In spite of my suffering and failure, I know that it shapes me into a stronger person and with that in mind, hope spurs me on.

2 Corinthians 12_9

Someone I really respect once shared a story with me that, though simple, is quite powerful. After a major disappointment, he was sitting in the back of a movie theater watching Iron Man 3. At the very end of the film Iron Man says, “You can take away my suits, you can take away my home, but there’s one thing you can never take away from me: I am Iron Man.” This resonated strongly with him and with me in turn, becoming my new mantra. They can take everything away, but I will keep on dancing, I will continue dreaming big. I am Iron Man!


So as I sit by the waterfront and when the cloud covers the sun, I won’t let my failure determine my future. I will continue to dream bigger and push myself. I am my greatest asset. I am Iron Man.