Tag Archives: Outward Focus

A Path Diverged

Every day we wake up, we are faced with a choice… whether to wake up on the right side or the wrong side of the bed. It may not be a conscious decision, but as our day goes along we come to forks in the road where we are challenged with circumstances that are less than ideal. It is at these crossroads where we have to choose how we are going to deal with the coming day.

Path diverged

When we choose to take the negative path, our day starts to spiral downward. What was once one problem, turns into another, making it easier and easier to continue taking the negative path. After walking down this road for awhile, we tend to group our problems together. So instead of having the one original problem, we have added everything else in our life that isn’t going quite right to our list of problems, creating a snowball effect. That bad hour or day, has turned into a bad week or month.

stop digging

Yet, when we choose to take the positive path, our day goes a lot smoother. We still encounter the same problems, but we are able to take a step back and think of how it could be worse. And that ultimately, in the scheme of life, the problem really isn’t as big as we are making it out to be.

Focus on good

We may not have a choice what circumstances we are faced with, but we do have a choice in how we view the situation and deal with our problems. Being positive is a choice we have to make and the more we make it, the easier it becomes and the happier we are.

To help you wake up on the right side of the bed, here are just a few tips you can incorporate into your life to be more positive.

  • Write it Out – Every night write down 5 positive things that happened that day. Focusing on the good takes the emphasis off of the bad.

5 positives

  • Retrain your Brain – If you notice your thoughts going down a negative path, learn to recognize it and take a detour. Try to think about something else that is more positive.

Begins in the mind

  • Challenge Yourself – There is a silver lining in every situation. Learn how to find it.

Silver lining

  • Outward Focus – Get outside of your head and focus on helping someone else.

Love others

  • Get Active – Being active contributes to your overall happiness, which in turn helps you to be more positive 🙂


  • Positive People – Surround yourself with positive people. People that will uplift you, encourage you, and inspire you.

Surround yourself

  • Forgive Yourself – A lot of negativity is directed at ourselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and you can do better next time.

Believe in yourself

  • Read – Inspire yourself with positive quotes and Bible verses to encourage you throughout your day.

Good thoughts_Roald Dahl

  • Sing – Sing along to a positive song. It’s an instant mode lifter. Even if you aren’t feeling positive, a few fun and uplifting songs can shift your mode for the better.

Sings my soul

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.


Valentine’s Day

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or Single Awareness Day, February 14th means something different to everyone. Some people celebrate with their loved one, whether it’s a candle lite dinner at home or a night on the town. Some people refuse to acknowledge it as a holiday or write it off as a way for stores to sell more chocolate and flowers. But it strikes a cord in everyone’s heart, whether it produces bitterness or love.

Fear not my friend! Valentine’s Day is one day a year, and if you think about it, you will most likely spend more Valentine’s Day’s with someone than without, theoretically speaking. Yet with its focus on love, or lack thereof, our self-esteem is targeted, creating an awareness of our singleness in a couple dominated culture. But don’t let it get to you.

The key to “surviving” this holiday, but also a good rule of thumb for life in general, is to have an outward focus. Instead of looking at your life and moping about not having someone to share that one day with, focus on how you can better love others. What can you do to brighten someone else’s day? If you wish that someone would buy you flowers for Valentine’s Day, then buy someone else flowers and make their day. In doing so, you will not only make them feel special, but will also get that warm fuzzy feeling that you made some kind of difference, even if it was small.

Act of Kindness

Despite my single status, I’ve always enjoyed Valentine’s Day because it gives me a reason to do something different. To me it means celebrating by wearing as much red and pink as possible, maybe even wearing my crazy heart socks my mom got me. Dancing around my kitchen listening to R&B love songs in my pink apron making sugar cookies with…you guessed it, pink frosting! Watching sappy romances with a friend all cuddled up in a warm blanket thinking “Someday…”


Of course sometimes I wish my life could look like that romance movie, where they randomly meet in a coffee shop and live happily ever after. But life isn’t like that and I know that although waiting is hard, it will be worth the wait.

Willingness to Wait

In the meantime, don’t let Valentine’s Day discourage you or your past disappointments cloud your vision of what your future will look like. Focus outward and look to find ways to be a blessing to others. And when the evening of February  14th comes around and you’re all alone, grab a friend. Curl up on the couch and watch your favorite romantic comedy, eat heart shaped pizza, and enjoy all the chocolate you want. You deserve it 😉