Tag Archives: Focus on the Good

Advice of an Introvert

Born into a world that values extroversion, we are told to be loud and bold, to be the life of the party. Because to be the life of the party is what everyone wants right?

glitter girl

Maybe not.

As an introvert, I’ve always enjoyed going to parties, but to be the life of the party was never what I set out to do. I enjoy getting dressed up, talking to friends, listening to the music, and observing all the crazy things people decide to do, but to be the center of attention frankly scares me.

Over the past few years, I’ve been pushing myself to be more outgoing and extroverted. To be bolder, and to try new things. To be daring. And I think I’ve done a great job, but when it comes down to it, I’m still an introvert. And I’m proud of it. 🙂

She floated

Often times, extroversion and introversion are confused with one’s personality, when in essence, it is how we energize and recharge. Extroverts recharge by being around people, while introverts recharge by being alone. So it is true that one can be outgoing and an introvert, and vice versa.

Even with this in mind, both extroverts and introverts have stereotypes based on how they are perceived; some are accurate, while others are far from it. Overall, extroverts tend to be seen in a more positive light as outgoing, friendly, talkative, and leaders, while introverts seem to carry a more negative connotation of being anti-social, reserved, and loners.

This saddens me, because neither the extrovert nor the introvert is superior. For it is the combination of both which makes teams, families, and life in general more complete. And to confine an introvert to a stereotype is to limit their true potential. Although introverts may come across as a little more reserved in social situations, that doesn’t mean they are any less friendly.

don't underestimate me

Ultimately, it just comes down to caring for people for who they are instead of trying to make them into something they are not.

Below are a few great ways to care for the introverts in your life.

  • Respect their need for privacy
  • Never embarrass them in public
  • Let them observe first in new situations
  • Give them time to think. Don’t demand instant answers
  • Don’t interrupt them
  • Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives
  • Give them 15 minute warnings to finish whatever they are doing
  • Teach them new skills and reprimand them privately
  • Don’t push them to make lots of friends
  • Respect their introversion. Don’t try to remake them into an extrovert.
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A Path Diverged

Every day we wake up, we are faced with a choice… whether to wake up on the right side or the wrong side of the bed. It may not be a conscious decision, but as our day goes along we come to forks in the road where we are challenged with circumstances that are less than ideal. It is at these crossroads where we have to choose how we are going to deal with the coming day.

Path diverged

When we choose to take the negative path, our day starts to spiral downward. What was once one problem, turns into another, making it easier and easier to continue taking the negative path. After walking down this road for awhile, we tend to group our problems together. So instead of having the one original problem, we have added everything else in our life that isn’t going quite right to our list of problems, creating a snowball effect. That bad hour or day, has turned into a bad week or month.

stop digging

Yet, when we choose to take the positive path, our day goes a lot smoother. We still encounter the same problems, but we are able to take a step back and think of how it could be worse. And that ultimately, in the scheme of life, the problem really isn’t as big as we are making it out to be.

Focus on good

We may not have a choice what circumstances we are faced with, but we do have a choice in how we view the situation and deal with our problems. Being positive is a choice we have to make and the more we make it, the easier it becomes and the happier we are.

To help you wake up on the right side of the bed, here are just a few tips you can incorporate into your life to be more positive.

  • Write it Out – Every night write down 5 positive things that happened that day. Focusing on the good takes the emphasis off of the bad.

5 positives

  • Retrain your Brain – If you notice your thoughts going down a negative path, learn to recognize it and take a detour. Try to think about something else that is more positive.

Begins in the mind

  • Challenge Yourself – There is a silver lining in every situation. Learn how to find it.

Silver lining

  • Outward Focus – Get outside of your head and focus on helping someone else.

Love others

  • Get Active – Being active contributes to your overall happiness, which in turn helps you to be more positive 🙂

Excercise

  • Positive People – Surround yourself with positive people. People that will uplift you, encourage you, and inspire you.

Surround yourself

  • Forgive Yourself – A lot of negativity is directed at ourselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and you can do better next time.

Believe in yourself

  • Read – Inspire yourself with positive quotes and Bible verses to encourage you throughout your day.

Good thoughts_Roald Dahl

  • Sing – Sing along to a positive song. It’s an instant mode lifter. Even if you aren’t feeling positive, a few fun and uplifting songs can shift your mode for the better.

Sings my soul

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.